Episode 130: Calling a Redo
On today’s episode of In Time, Peter and Robyne unpack the fine line between judgement and compassion for ourselves and others. Can practicing moments of self-compassion make it easier to extend that compassion to others? Does thinking in the third-person help make us kinder to ourselves? And what happens when we call a “redo” in the middle of a hard conversation? Plus, why good intentions are not Windex for hurt feelings.
Listen
Show Notes
Highlights:
- They discuss times that they’ve mixed up silly things that they’ve said or done in everyday life, and the degree of judgement they’ve sometimes received in return - also expressing their desire to have more compassion by reserving that same judgement for others in a similar situation
- They differentiate between the situations when someone needs a lecture, and when someone needs a hug
- Robyne discusses how she sometimes thinks to herself in third person in order to self-reflect and talk herself down from self-criticism
- Practicing moments of self-compassion tends to make it easier to extend that compassion to others
- Peter discusses approaching conflict with curiosity rather than judgement, and how this can become a positive learned habit
- Having good intentions is not Windex for hurt feelings - you still need to be accountable whether the damage was intentional or not
- Peter differentiates between being nice (while harbouring negativity inside), and being kind (which is more sincere)
- Robyne discusses the idea of ‘redo’s - allowing people the grace to start a situation or discussion over when things aren’t going well
- Robyne tells a story about being on conference calls where people refer to the male speaker with the title ‘Dr.’, while forget to do it for Robyne, and how those types of micro-aggressions can be difficult to navigate
- Peter adds that he loves being corrected on things like that, and learning about the ‘blind spots’ in how he perceives the world
- Robyne introduces the concept of throwing a flag up to trigger a ‘redo’ in the conversation when someone has said something off-putting - and it’s important that the flag be thrown up and back, and not ‘at’ the person
“Good intention is not Windex for hurt feelings.” – Robyne
Additional Resources:
- Brené Brown
- Time to Connect, co-led by Peter and Dr. Robyne, is an interactive session purposefully designed to unite, recharge, and elevate team cohesion and performance, leaving your people with a renewed sense of unity and resiliency. Click the link to learn more about how Time to Connect can support your team.
- Your Time - Peter and Robyne’s asynchronous learning experience is now available! Please click the link to learn more.
Credits:
Hosted by Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe and Peter Katz
Produced by Trevor Campbell
Edited by Sean Ban Beaton
Theme song by Peter Katz
Podcast cover art by Trevor Campbell
Show logistics by Erin Marshall and Jenna Green
Connect:
Connect with Peter Peterkatz.com | Peterkatzspeaks.com
Connect with Robyne Drrobyne.ca
Follow Peter and Robyne on social media:
Peter Katz: Facebook: @peterkatzmusic | Instagram: @peterkatzmusic | LinkedIn: Peter Katz
Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe: Instagram: @dr_robynehd | LinkedIn: drrobynehd
*The information presented in this podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional advice. Please consult a qualified healthcare professional if you require assistance.
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