Episode 19: Understanding Beyond the Feeling
This week, Peter and Robyne share ‘Cognitive Shortcuts’ as a way to reduce stress in decision-making. They also discuss how we can sometimes limit how much we share of ourselves in fear of judgement (and how these ‘people’ judging us often don’t even exist). Finally, they talk through how to best process feeling upset and offer a step-by-step guide to better understand and manage those inevitable tough feelings that come up.
Today’s surprise questions:
What compliment is your favourite to receive?
What is one thing about yourself that may not be well received by others, but you would never change?
Listen
Show Notes
We cover many topics in this episode, including:
- Try using ‘Cognitive Shortcuts’, or situational predetermined decision-making, to save yourself the stress of reinventing the wheel every time you need to make decisions in familiar situations
- It’s ok to embrace the routines we follow in our everyday lives when they help us reinforce who we are, and who we are not
- The act of putting yourself out there with your art, your career, etc., is more important than any embarrassment felt about the results
- Sometimes we limit how much we share of ourselves because of anonymous adversaries we’ve invented, saying “’they’ are going to judge me, or ‘they’ are conspiring against me, when a lot of the time, ‘they’ don’t really exist
- It’s easy to fixate on the one criticism you get amongst numerous accolades, because we are drawn to the negative as a survival strategy
- Being more specific with the words we use to describe how we are feeling allows us to communicate our needs more accurately and to give or receive more useful support through that communication
- When feeling upset, go through the process of recognizing that you’re upset, naming specifically what it is you’re feeling, placing where you think this feeling is coming from, and then actioning it by deciding how you want to meet these feelings - recognize it, name it, place it, and action it
I love that. – Peter
Additional Resources:
- Splash’N Boots - Taes Leavitt received a 2023 JUNO Award nomination for Children’s Album of the Year as part of her work with Splash’N Boots
- Previous episode mentioned by Peter: Episode 5: Listening for the Compassionate Voice
- ‘The Man in the Arena’ quote by Theodore Roosevelt referenced by Peter and Robyne: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Credits:
Hosted by Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe and Peter Katz
Produced by Trevor Campbell
Edited by Sean Ban Beaton
Theme song by Peter Katz
Podcast cover art by Trevor Campbell
Show logistics by Erin Marshall and Jenna Green
Connect:
Connect with Peter Peterkatz.com | Peterkatzspeaks.com
Connect with Robyne Drrobyne.ca
Follow Peter and Robyne on social media:
Peter Katz: Facebook: @peterkatzmusic | Instagram: @peterkatzmusic
Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe: Instagram: @dr_robynehd | Twitter: @dr_robynehd
*The information presented in this podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional advice. Please consult a qualified healthcare professional if you require assistance.
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